Blood or Passion or ?

Is it the end? Have I traversed my trials, and made it out the other side? Or is this just the lull before the storm? I have been waiting a while now for my next task. My trusted are bored, my hammer is rusting, I need to pull some nails. How am I to fix my bed, to move on with my life, if there is no task set before me?  I wake every day expecting some new grief, something to get angry about, or cry about. In the distance I see mountains, but they get no closer no matter how far I walk. I look behind me and there is the hill I came down still close, my soapbox car still there where I left it. I could just turn around, maybe if I just put in a new engine, I could start back up my hill. I know that road well, I know where I went wrong, I could make the right turns instead of the left. I look to my trusted for some much needed guidance, and I see a new group of people next to my trusted. More help is always appreciated. I approach them and they seem familiar, yes that's it, they are my blood. I had lost much blood on my last trip for when I began that journey some of the lines feeding my veins were pulled out. Others remained but provided less when not part of the whole. The Other had helped me through the initial loss not with blood but with life passion. Taught me how to survive without the blood. I could use some infusion now though, gain strength and energy, now that the passion is gone. I move even closer and see they are holding out needles ready to provide me the nourishment I desperately need so much. One more look back at the hill, seems more distant now, that road is no longer available to me so I look again towards the mountains, they are closer and I can distinguish two different peaks, and now two paths before me. I have to have my nourishment if I am to succeed. I need it, I can't live without it now. I take the first needle and insert it in my veins, the rush is great, exciting, I am floating. I lay down on my bed and the nails feel like little fingers messaging me, I feel no pain. I take another needle. I need more. Euphoria is overtaking me as I move to the path on the right, a well traveled path, a path I am familiar with where my blood awaits inviting me back in. As I lay there being pulled toward the familiar path, a voice in the back of my mind reminds me there are two paths and I must choose.