Life Happens Part 1

My life seems to be going downhill in a soapbox car. Which can be nice, the wind in my hair as I cruise past the folks slowly chugging uphill with expressions of pain and hard work on their faces. Smiling and waving at the stationary onlookers cheering me on. There is no rear view mirror to remind me where I've been, only the downhill road in front of me. Though I can't see too far ahead either as I need to keep my eyes on the few feet in front of me. An exhilarating feeling this is, to be free. No cares, no responsibilities, and no brakes. In one fell swoop the feeling turns to fear and I realize that going down means I have to at some point go back up. I look again at the onlookers and hear not cheers but jeers. The uphill lane faces are not pained but determined. No mirror so I turn around and see a life fading in the distance, a life worked for and lost, a life failed. Again I am forced to look ahead of me, the bottom of the hill approaching fast, faster than expected, faster than I want, faster than I can handle?

Life Happens Part 2

Handle? I grab the wheel and try to pay more attention to what's ahead. The bottom of the hill is here, what now? Nothing. Ahead there is nothing. Straight, flat, empty, forever ahead. The exhilaration is gone, the past is fresh in my mind. Memories stream across my vision...recent memories I thought I knew. I watch as I would a new movie. I don't remember this scene I think to myself. At least not this way. More movies, more scenes, more stuff I didn't write. I am entranced in this life I led I didn't know. Wait I didn't understand, yes that's it, I didn't understand what was happening. As the lead in the movie I was making, I created a character and played him well. I gave my all to the role and became entrenched in the character the Director gave me to play. Watching now in the audience interpretations change. My perception of reality is questioned. Am I that character? I want to talk to the Director, I need a rewrite!

The Director

Rewrite? NEVER. Who dare ask for a rewrite.  Do you think I have time to rewrite every story just because you don't like the ending. You liked the beginning I'd wager. And most of the middle. But Ohh whine whine whine all the way down the hill. Life is what you make it, and once made that is the bed you sleep in. Oh, it's a bed of nails is it? Well sucks to be you then doesn't it. Shall I tell you what each nail is from? I take it you don't remember. You should, you hammered each one yourself. I think we'll start with the one right there in the middle. Yeah that really big one. Its a special one, your first one. It wasn't so big when you nailed it, but it grew. It's honesty pal. You know that most important part of any relationship. Don't make that face, I didn't say you were lying to them. That my dear boy is you lying to you. The rest of the nails, small ones, big ones, they're just an extension of that first one. They're all connected and underneath one leads to another and another and they feed that first one. Tell you what, you want a rewrite, here's your hammer try using the other side this time. I'd start with the big one.