Boxes

With hammer in hand and my trusted at my side, I return to the scene with new vigor, ready to tear at those nails which were stopping me from moving on. But when I arrived there was no bed, no nails, only boxes, piled high as far as I could see. I looked at the first one "kitchen stuff" written in black permanent marker. I could still smell the arid odor, these had been labelled recently. Another one, "bathroom", another "computer". I realize these are my things all boxed up and ready to be moved. But I don't want to move. I'm not ready yet. I have nails to destroy, a life to fix, a bed to sleep in again; renewed in honesty and trust and love. That's what the Director said, repair the bed, remove the nail, and all will be well. I know that's what she said. I see another pile of boxes and I move to them, "for sale" they are labelled. I open one, "Hey I'm not selling that, we used that for..." and then more boxes I run to them, but I can't read what they say, the label is blurred. So I try to open it, I can't, they are sealed, I find a knife and rip at it, nothing, I take my hammer and try to smash it, no damage. I try to lift them, I'll just move it back to my pile and work on it later I think. Too heavy. I turn to my trusted and ask for help. Blank stares. The one who gave me the hammer shakes a head, no. 'These are not yours anymore we have other work to do.' I crumble into a ball and watch as the boxes disappear one by one and I am helpless to stop it. I weep. My trusted weep with me. Our tears form a river and the "for sale" boxes float away.  I look back at my boxes and one by one unpack the things in them. I give each item a new name and a new place to fit. I notice each box I open is only half full, the other half an empty space and I know the blurred boxed are the same inside. When all the boxes are unpacked, I see my bed of nails, and notice the center nail seems smaller, still too big to just yank out, but definitely smaller. I feel sadness knowing the Other is doing the same thing as I. Yet also a sense of relief, my first task complete, my first nail destroyed, I hope they are not all as difficult as this. My trusted, my hammer and I look to the east as the sun rises on a new day, and we march west ready for the next nail.